The Grotesque Manipulation of an Adoptee

Apparently,  ABC’s “Find My Family” is causing adoptive parents to have to reach for their smelling salts.  In this incredibly biased “review”  one adoptive parent comments:


  • Tue 11/24/09 11:07 AMAs an adoptive parent, I too heartily agree with your comments. I had not heard about this how till I heard the promos in DWTS. I got a knot in my stomach but decided to watch and keep an open mind. While the story was touching and I did get misty-eyed, I kept thinking that these situations are so much more complex that what they are showing them to be. I called my adopted daughter and asked her if shere were watching and her answer to me was, “Ma, why would I watch a show called FIND MY FAMILY? YOU are my family and I never lost you.” Good answer – don’t you think?Report this
    • crispy
      Tue 11/24/09 12:12 PM

      The perfect answer! It annoys me to no end that this show is called “Find My FAMILY”

I can’t imagine being raised by a woman that was so needy that everytime something came onto the television about adoption, she needed to phone me to be reassured that I would take care of her insecurities for the rest of my life.

It gets better however.  Another adoptee has the audacity to express his or her opinion and is met not just with disagreement, but wishes of death and accusations of mental instabilty.   “Call Dr. Phil!”  one commentor suggests.  Well, sure why not ?  Dr. Phil is also heavy into psychological exploitation and manipulation.

  • adoptee
    Tue 11/24/09 12:10 PM

    Anyone commenting on here who is not a part of the adoption triad should not comment on the myriad issues surrounding the desire, or lack thereof, to search. You have no idea how complicated this issue is nor do you have any idea how long lasting the effects of adoption are. You don’t like the show, don’t watch. but it certainly brings out in the light the dirty little secret that is adoption. Adopted children are denied a basic right that each of you take for granted…the right to know who you are. And to the adopted mom whose daughter assured you that you are her “real” family…don’t kid yourself…I’ve been saying things like that to my parents for as long as I can remember…doesn’t mean I don’t want to know my birthparents….I just know that it’s not “socially acceptable” so we learn not to talk about it…bottom line? Don’t speak about what you have no idea about!!!


    Report this

    • crispy
      Tue 11/24/09 12:15 PM

      Wow. People like you are the reason I militantly favor abortion. You didn’t deserve to be adopted.


      Report this

      • t3hdow
        Tue 11/24/09 4:22 PM

        Normally, your cynicism doesn’t phase me, but that remark made me groan. No matter how much you disagree with adoptee’s opinion, that remark really crossed the line.
        While I don’t 100% agree with adoptee (i.e., one adopted kid speaks for all adopted kids part in particular), in some respects, at least his/her viewpoint about adopted children is slightly more valid than no one who’s been through the experience. To basically imply they should’ve been aborted is beyond tasteless.

    • Lisa Simpson
      Tue 11/24/09 12:19 PM

      And you certainly don’t speak for all adoptees. My husband was adopted and never once expressed any interest in finding his birth parents. As far as he was concerned, he already had parents and a family and didn’t need to “find” one.


      Report this

    • Luddite
      Tue 11/24/09 12:41 PM

      Follow your own advice, adoptee. The only experience you know is your own – “Don’t speak about what you have no idea about!!!”


      Report this

      • sbwm
        Tue 11/24/09 6:34 PM

        adoptee, take it easy. You sound very frustrated and angry beyond this little blog. Take a breath; talk to someone.

    • ?????????????
      Thu 11/26/09 11:35 AM

      ADOPTEE… might want to give Dr. Phil a call……….


      Report this

  • Remember the commentors attacking this adoptee are more than likely people close to an adoptee in real life, the reason for their ferocity, protection of their personal property.

    Next time someone tells you that their hairdresser’s happy adopted cousin was so happy she just wished she could be adopted more often remember that she may very well be from a family that threatened to “stick” her if she was  caught without a grin on her face.


    November 28, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Media. 2 comments.